IV Revision Journal, Part 4

 

After a few more weeks of revision, I’ve now fully updated my philosophy text to my satisfaction. I will again upload a Microsoft Word file with the final changes tracked (in blue type on my screen.) Most of the changes were in wording to make the document a better read. I was concerned with some of the grammatical mistakes; I had thought that all of the obvious errors would’ve been gone by now.

 

As for the major changes, the introduction was completely redone. Maybe I was wrong to have read it last instead of first during the previous revision. I hope it’s a good beginning now. I copied a whole paragraph from Article 5, “Value without Feeling” into the “Fact and Individual Value” section. It said everything I wanted to say and it fit quite well. There was only one other place where I completely tore apart and rebuilt a paragraph in this phase of revision: I integrated parts of my “Kohlberg’s Stages” article into the end of the “Cultural Values and Ethics” section. I thought that part of the article explained the allure and dangers of cultural values very well. I also deleted the last sentence of the Religion section. I’d still like to say how everyone should be mad that incompatible religions are spreading lies and oppression, but I still can’t word the message as I want to. It didn’t really fit into the rest of the content anyways.

 

I also went back over the articles, mostly to correct wording/grammar issues and to update the wording in main text excerpts. Heh. The easiest articles to write are those where I’m criticizing someone else’s work. With them, there’s plenty of content to review and respond to. The rest of the articles tend to be a little shorter, as I simply state my position concisely with a few illustrations.

 

All in all, I’m glad to have my most important piece finished again. It took longer than I thought it would, but it was worth it. It’s now stronger and shinier than it’s ever been.