IV Revision Journal, Part 4
After a few more
weeks of revision, I’ve now fully updated my philosophy text to my
satisfaction. I will again upload a Microsoft Word file with the final changes tracked
(in blue type on my screen.) Most of the changes were in wording to make the
document a better read. I was concerned with some of the grammatical mistakes;
I had thought that all of the obvious errors would’ve been gone by now.
As for the major changes,
the introduction was completely redone. Maybe I was wrong to have read it last
instead of first during the previous revision. I hope it’s a good beginning
now. I copied a whole paragraph from Article
5, “Value without Feeling” into the “Fact and Individual Value” section. It
said everything I wanted to say and it fit quite well. There was only one other
place where I completely tore apart and rebuilt a paragraph in this phase of
revision: I integrated parts of my “Kohlberg’s
Stages” article into the end of the “Cultural Values and Ethics” section. I
thought that part of the article explained the allure and dangers of cultural
values very well. I also deleted the last sentence of the Religion section. I’d
still like to say how everyone should be mad that incompatible religions are
spreading lies and oppression, but I still can’t word the message as I want to.
It didn’t really fit into the rest of the content anyways.
I also went back
over the articles, mostly to correct wording/grammar issues and to update the
wording in main text excerpts. Heh. The easiest articles to write are those where I’m
criticizing someone else’s work. With them, there’s plenty of content to review
and respond to. The rest of the articles tend to be a little shorter, as I
simply state my position concisely with a few illustrations.
All in all, I’m glad
to have my most important piece finished again. It took longer than I thought
it would, but it was worth it. It’s now stronger and shinier than it’s ever
been.